Naruto Interviews
by sharinganbrothers13
Summary: Me and Mayuki are bored and decide to interview characters from Naruto in front of a 'live audience! Please rate and review!
1. Uzumaki Naruto

This is our first fan fic so don't flame us if it sucks...we have nothing against gay people..We're just bored!!

Disclaimer: we do not own Naruto, but that would be awesome wouldn't it??!!

**Interview #1: Uzumaki Naruto!!!**

Naata: Hi, I'm Naata!!!

Mayuki: And I'm Mayuki!! We're going to interview Naruto characters!!

Naata: Yays!! First up for interviewing...Uzumaki Naruto!! (Naruto walks in)

Naruto: Yeah, I'm famous, Believe it!!

Naata: Hi, Naruto!! You are the best!! But let's get right to it. There have been rumors spreading that you're actually a girl! Your thoughts??

Naruto: That's a bunch of bullshit and you all know it!! I AM A GUY!!!!

Naata: I must say, though, the ninja centerfold _did _come pretty easy to you. In fact, I've seen instances where you don't even use hand signs!!

Naruto: (turns red) that's...that's because I have mad ninja skills! Believe it!

Mayuki: Whatever... next question... How do you feel about the whole yaoi thing??

Naruto: (turns even redder) I...am...not...GAY!!

Mayuki: Well, if you were a _girl_, you wouldn't be gay!!

Naruto: I wonder if that would work- I mean, I'M NOT A GIRL!!!

Mayuki: Well, we'll debate that further when we interview Uchiha Sasuke!!

Naata: Okay, next question...why isn't there any Yuri in Naruto? I mean, yaoi is cool and all, but is it just guys??

Naruto:..How would _I _know...?

Mayuki: Well, you _are _a girl!!

Naruto: NO I'M NOT!!(Gets up) I'm outta here!! (Starts walking off)

Naata and Mayuki: Nuuuuu! Naru-chaaaan!!!Come back!! (Runs after Naruto)

Naruto: AAAAAAHHHH!!!(Girls chase him out of building)

Naata: Well, we're busy being crazed fan girls, so see you next interview!!

**Tune in next time for Uchiha Sasuke!!**


	2. Uchiha Sasuke

Yet another interview...NO FLAMES!! We would like to keep the small amount of dignity we have left...

Disclaimer: We do not own Naruto!!

**Naruto Interview #2: Uchiha Sasuke!!**

Naata: Hi, everyone! As promised, we're interviewing Uchiha Sasuke!

Mayuki: (jumps up and down like a maniac) OMGOMGOMG!! Sasuke is my idol!!! He pwns everyone!!

Naata: (sighs and slaps forehead) Come on out, Sasuke-kun... (Sasuke walks up and sits down)

Mayuki: (falls over and goes into half-dead state)

Sasuke: ...

Naata: (Drags Mayuki back up to her chair) ...Sorry about that!

Mayuki: ...so hot... (Nosebleeds)

Naata: uhhh... (Sweat drops)

Sasuke: ...

Naata: Well, lets get right to it! So, Sasuke, does Dobe _really _mean idiot, or does it mean_ something else??_

Sasuke: ...what are you saying...?

Naata: oh, nothing...

Mayuki: ...gay, but SO HOT!!!!

Sasuke: (twitches)...I'm not gay...

Naata: Okaay...speaking of being gay...what are your thoughts on the whole yaoi thing??

Sasuke: (twitches more)...all a lie...

Mayuki: (finally comes out of half-dead state) Well, if Naru-chan is a girl like everyone thinks he is, than it isn't _really_ yaoi!!

Sasuke: You two have a lot of spare time don't you?!

Naata: Yep...And we drank some of Tsunade's Saki!!...Mayuki, do you want to do the last question??

Mayuki: HELL YEAH! Sasuke, have you ever been glomped??

Sasuke: Why? (Girls both have evil grins)...OH, SHIT! (Glomped by both girls)

Mayuki: Yays! You're so cute Sasu-chan!!

Sasuke: AAAHHH! (Waves arms around wildly)

Naata: Well, Mayuki's kind of going insane, so see you all next interview!! (Continues glomping Sasuke) SASU-CHAAAN!!

**Tune in next time for Haruno Sakura!!**


	3. Haruno Sakura

Oh yes, the bitch most of us want to murder in her sleep...this one is going to be interesting! R&R please!!

Disclaimer: We own nothing!!

**Naruto interview #3: Haruno Sakura!!**

Naata: Moshimoshi!! We're interviewing Haruno Sakura! (Fake smiles)

Mayuki: I hate her guts!! Sasu-chan's MINE!!

Naata: I don't like her either but _she _said we had to interview everyone in squad 7!

Mayuki: uhhh, who is _she?!_

Naata: Duh! My evil twin Hiruka who may or may not join us on a few interviews!

Mayuki: ohhhh! Anyways...come out Sakura! (Sulks in chair)

Sakura: Hi!! (Waves and sits down)

Naata: Well hi there! Let's get right to it! What color was your hair before you died it pink (spits on floor)

Sakura: Oh, this is my natural hair color!

Mayuki: of course it is...but you know, someone as emo and cool as Sasuke would _hate _the color pink (also spits on floor)

Sakura: (Starts staring at hair) really?! I better ask Tsunade-sama if I can borrow her hair dye!!

Naata: Anyways, on to the next question! There have been rumors that you've had sleepovers with Uchiha Itachi! What are your thoughts?

Sakura: NO WAY!! I hate his guts for what he did to Sasuke-kun!!

Naata: (twitches)...Don't murder...don't murder...!

Mayuki: uhhh, have you heard the rumors about Naruto being a girl?!

Sakura: Yeah, and I hope he's not! I don't need more competition for Sasuke!!

Naata: Yeah, but those two _do _have more of a relationship than you and Sasuke, so he's more likely to go for Naru-chan!!

Mayuki: It's so hot!

Sakura: NO IT'S NOT!! I must have Sasuke! Even if _he's _not happy about it!

Mayuki: (Twitches like Naata)...can we _kill_ her now?

Naata: fine with me...

Sakura: uhhh... (Backs away slowly)

Mayuki: But can we do it with a STEAK KNIFE??!!(Holds up steak knife)

Naata: You've been waiting to say that all day, haven't you?

Mayuki: yep, pretty much...Let's go! (Both chase Sakura out of building with steak knives)

**Tune in next time for Hatake Kakashi!!**


	4. Hatake Kakashi

Okay! We're interviewing a Sensei now!! Rock, rock on!! These ended up a lot shorter than we thought they would! Whatever…Naata barely gets to go on the computer so she had to write these down so she wouldn't forget them…the life of an otaku….

Disclaimer: The statement below is false…

We own Naruto. In fact, we own the ENTIRE WORLD!!!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

**Naruto Interview #4: Hatake Kakashi!!**

Mayuki: (washing blood off steak knives) Sooo, who's next Naata??

Naata: That would be…(looks at list)…Hatake Kakashi!

Mayuki: (returns to seat) Cools! Come out, Kakashi-Sensei!!

Kakashi: (walks up, puts Icha Icha in pocket and sits down) Greetings!

Naata: Hi, Sensei! First question! Does usually only seeing through one eye ever bother you??

Kakashi: Yes, at times it can be annoying…it's nothing I can't handle, though!

Mayuki: Of course! Anyways, we've noticed that for the first 100 episodes, you're reading the same volume of Icha Icha Paradise! It's weird…

Naata: It could just be our error, but it makes us wonder if you actually _ever_ read it!

Kakashi: Yes, I _do_ read it. All the volume's covers are the same. Although Jyraiya-sama is a great author, he's not very creative!

Naata: I see, I see. Now, the question every Naruto fan wants answered…

Naata and Mayuki: _What is under the mask?!_

Kakashi: (Frowns) Why is everyone so obsessed over that? Oh well, might as well just show you. Maybe it will make you all shut up! (Pulls down mask)

Mayuki: Wow! That's all it was?!

Naata: I wasn't expecting that!

Kakashi: Yeah, well…(puts mask back up)

Mayuki: Time for the last question… Have you ever wanted to murder Guy-Sensei??

Kakashi: OF COURSE N-…Yes, almost every day….

Naata: How about right now??

Kakashi: …sure

Mayuki: Can we come? We have STEAK KNIVES!!! (holds up steak knives)

Kakashi: Great! Let's go!!

Naata: Well, we're going to go murder Guy-Sensei now, so see you next interview!! (Runs out to find Guy)

**Tune in next time for Hyuga Neji!!**

**HA**H! You all thought we would tell you what's under Kakashi's mask, didn't you?? We have a picture of him without it that Naata may post on her website!! NO FLAMES!!


	5. Hyuga Neji

We know many of you are wondering when the hell we're going to interview Gaara, Itachi and the rest! But we decided to get the rookie nine and Guy's team out of the way first so please be patient…GO BYAKUGAN!!! For those of you that don't know, Moshimoshi means "hello" in Japanese…Naata was coming back from a dentist appointment at 8 in the morning and decided to start writing this…

**Naruto Interview #5: Hyuga Neji!!**

Mayuki: Moshimoshi everyone! (Puts away steak knives)

Naata: Well, it's 8 am and we've _already_ ridded the world of Might Guy! That's pretty good is it not? (Audience cheers)

Mayuki: In celebration, we're interviewing two of his pupils, starting with Hyuga Neji!

Naata: And I put my hair up like Neji, today! Don't I look _exactly_ like him? (Shows audience Neji hair)

Mayuki: It looks good! Okay Neji, come have a seat! (Neji walks up and sits down)

Neji: Good Morning!

Naata: You really _have_ changed since your fight with Naruto!

Neji: Yes, I feel it is a change for the better.

Mayuki: Hell yeah!! Your popularity is _way_ higher now! We think you're cool!!

Neji: Thank you.

Naata: To the first question, from a letter we have received, have you ever used Byakugan to 'spy' on Tenten??

Neji: GOD, NO!!…Okay yes, but only twice…

Mayuki: (nods head) Okay…how about Hyuga Hinata?

Neji: Of course not!! I exist to _protect _Hinata-sama! We now have a much better relationship, why would I want to ruin it?!

Naata: Of course! Next question…how do you like my hair? (Shows Neji her hair)

Neji: (confuzzled) Uhhh… you pulled it off quite nicely…

Naata: YAYS!!

Mayuki: Next! Do you poke people over and over for no reason??

Neji: …occasionally, yes…

Mayuki: Yeah, that is fun! Unfortunately, we're at the last question. What do you _really _think about Rock Lee?

Neji: I think he is a creepy, spandex wearing, unyouthfull, brain-lacking Sakura stalker, and I wish him the very best…IN HELL!!

Naata: Harsh words, but I _totally_ agree! He scares the shit out of me!

Mayuki: Ooh, ooh, ooh! Can we kill the mini-Guy with steak knives? Can we, can we?

Naata: Not quite yet. I have some _plans_ for his interview! Heh heh heh! But please stick around Neji you may be useful in my plan! (Puts fingers together evilly)

Neji: Fine with me! (Naata and Neji run around laughing evilly)

Mayuki: Uhhh…see you next interview!

**Tune in next time for Rock Lee!!**

We're probably going to end up interviewing Lee, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Shikamaru, Gaara, Temari, Kankuro, Kisame, Itachi, and Deidara. If you have a question you're dieing to ask any of them, let us know and we'll try and fit them in their interviews!


	6. Rock Lee

Wow! We're already on the 6th interview!! We _do_ have too much free time! Sorry this chapter took so long, Naata's computer was being an ass! For this one, we had too assume that no one liked Rock Lee, so if you do, we apologise, but there isn't many of you and MAJORITY RULES!! Anyways, couldn't think of what to ask Tenten, so we had to 'improvise'. R&R!! We want to be loved!!!

**Naruto Interview #6: Rock Lee!**

Mayuki: Hi! Is anyone here a Rock Lee fan? (Complete and total silence) Good!

Naata: Neji has graciously agreed to help me with my evil plan of DEATH!! (Puts fingers together evilly)

Mayuki: Which is…? (Crosses arms)

Naata: You shall see…heh, heh. Heh…Anyway, where are you Lee? (Lee walks out)

Lee: This place is bursting with the power of youth!! (Does good guy pose)

Naata: (slaps forehead along with Mayuki) Uhhh…sure… First question! Do you _really_ love Sakura?

Lee: Yes! She is my precious person and I will protect her with my life!!

Mayuki: Well, apparently not, cause she's dead!

Naata: Yeah, we killed her during her interview!

Mayuki: With STEAK KNIVES!! (Holds up steak knives…are you seeing a pattern here?)

Lee: What? I have failed you Guy-Sensei!! (Goes down on his knees over-dramatically and does demise scene) Nooooooooooooooooooooo-(…you get the picture)

Mayuki: Speaking of Guy-Sensei…! (Totally ignoring Lee's demise scene) Are you gay with him? Or are you related and it's incest??

Lee: Wha-…ummm…well…(blushes and finally sits down)

Naata: hmm…now, one of the most important questions…_do you shave your wevo's_?

Lee: Not really wevo's…_per se_…(trying to hide the fact that he doesn't have any?)

Mayuki: (twitches) That's good to know…do you want to know what Neji thinks of you?

Lee: I guess…

Naata: Oh, Ne-chan!! (Neji runs out and starts poking Lee _really_ hard. He's a Hyuga, so you can imagine just _how_ hard…)

Neji: You mother-fu----

This scene has been edited out due to massive censorship needs. C'mon people! If you wrote fanfics every day, your fingers would be sore too!! The next scene is graphic, but we won't take _all_ the pleasure out of this!

Lee: aaahh! (After much poking by Neji and the girls, slowly bleeds to death)

Guy: (runs up out of nowhere) No! My partner in youthfulness has died!! Oh, the tragedy of it all!!

Naata and Mayuki: (looks up all confuzzled) didn't we kill you?

Guy: No. Unfortunately, that was Tenten transformed to me…

Naata and Mayuki: …FUCK!!!!!!…. Oh, whatever, she wasn't that cool anyway…

Mayuki: (takes out steak knives) We still get to kill him, right? (Naata nods evilly)

Neji: Ooh! Can I join you? (Mayuki hands him a steak knife)…Yays!!

Naata: See you next Interview!! (Joins in killing of Guy)

**Tune in next time for…Sabaku No Gaara!!**

Just in case you don't know, wevo's is some stupid term some bored teenager probably made up! It's just another term for…penis…wow, I just said penis on the internet…this is weird...I'm going to go now!


	7. Sabaku No Gaara

'Tis time for the 7th interview!! Sorry about the huge time gap between interviews, Mayuki and I were caught on the path of life…and one of our friends broke Naata's toe…sigh…anyway, as a reviewer (nicky) has asked, we're interviewing Gaara! Anyway, thanks to everyone who kept up with the story and didn't flame us!!

Disclaimer: If we owned Naruto, everyone would be ninjas by now!!

**Interview #7: Sabaku No Gaara!**

Mayuki: Welcome! Our death count is up to four now!

Naata: And nobody has tried to arrest or commit us!

Mayuki: And my steak knives are still sharp!! (Wow…this is getting old!)

Naata: (rolls eyes) Anyway, our next guest is the spokesman of death himself…Sabaku No Gaara! (Gaara walks up and, you know…sits down)

Mayuki: So, how's life treating you, Gaara-sama?

Gaara: (glares at Mayuki) That's a very rhetorical question.

Mayuki: (sniffs)…I was just trying to be a good talk-show host like Ellen! (Sobs)

Naata: Uhhh…sorry about that...anyway, what's your favourite song?

Gaara: …the hampster song…(blushes)

Naata: you mean…(snaps)…_this_ song? (Hampster song starts playing)

Gaara: OMG!! (Starts dancing)

Mayuki:(five minutes later)…Cute! Okay, I think that's enough dancing for now! (Snaps and the music turns off)

Gaara: (sits down like nothing happened) Um, next question please…

Mayuki: Okay…(grabs paper) we have a question from a viewer by the name of Mount'ny. She wants to know how much you work out, being kazekage and all.

Gaara: Well…I'll show you. (Stands up and takes off Kazekage clothes…but he forgot to keep something on!! )

**CENSOR!!!**

Sorry fangirls, but if you want to see Gaara's…area… you'll have to keep looking on deviant art! Anyhow, back to the interview!

Gaara: (stifled gasp by crowd) Shit! I knew I forgot to put something this morning! Just _had _to be my boxers! (Turns cherry red)

Mayuki: Wow, I guess we can't be a daytime show anymore!

Naata: Yeah, this is some Jerry Springer shit right here! I'd better call Mount'ny back! (Grabs iphone…Yay for product placement…And dials number) Oi, Mount'ny…Yes…he was average sized…Okay, see you…

Gaara: (shoves clothes back on and sits down) Kankuro is going to be _so_ pissed when he finds out about this!

Naata: (shakes off memories)…um, unfortunately we're up to our last question. Who would you most like to kill right now?

Mayuki: that's still available to die?

Gaara…Lee.

Naata: dead.

Gaara: Guy?

Mayuki: deceased.

Gaara: (makes desperate face)…Sakura?

Naata: Dead, thank Foamy!

Mayuki: please think of someone! It's not right if we don't end this interview with a death!

Gaara…Well…Baki _was_ always a jackass, and we always suspected he was a pedophile…will he do?

Naata: Perfect! Let's go!

Mayuki: don't forget the steak knives!! (Runs off with Naata and Gaara.)

**Don't miss the next interview for Deidara!!**

Yeah, we changed the character line-up a bit, what are you going to do about it? We'll try and be faster with the next interview. Till we meet again!!


	8. Deidara

Amazing! We've got up to our eighth interview. I decided to mix up the character line up a little to make it more interesting. Gomen Nasai for taking so long, even though I promised I wouldn't...it's not my fault!! My family really likes the computer! Anywho..please review even if you hated it...so we can pretend you're a fan "

Disclaimer: Although we plan to send a lot of fan mail to Masashi Kishimoto, none of them would ever include 'Hand over ownership or DIE!!

**Interview 8: Deidara...Fruitloops! OO**

Akane: Konnichiwa!! Well, instead with going along with our scheduled interviews-

Mayuki: The rest of the rookie nine, sand shinobi and what not. We've decided to go right along with the Akatsuki, starting with Deidara!

Akane: Because, hell, we're already on our eighth interview, and do you _know _how many characters there are in this damn show!!

Deidara: (Saunters out and takes his seat) Hey, everyone!

Mayuki: uhhh...we haven't called you out yet...

Deidara: Yeah I know, but you guys were taking a long time, so I thought I'd just let myself out!..un

Akane: Uh..._huhh..._Well, anyway, our first question is, why don't you have a last name? Are you an orphan or something??

Deidara: ...I just...kinda hate my family name. Un...it's embarrassing...

Mayuki: C'mon, you can tell us, we won't laugh!

Deidara: (ponders)...Luthor...

Akane: (chokes) you're part...of the _Luthor _family?! (Deidara nods)

Mayuki: Okay then...next question. Does the name 'Deidara' even _have _a meaning? Even Wiki-nerds like _us _can't find it! And is it pronounced Dei-DAU-ra or Die-DEA-ra?

Deidara: What's with all the name questions? Hm.

Akane: You're right! Who writes these questions, anyway?...Oh yeah, _I do!_ OO Onto the next question. How do you get your hair like that? And why do even bother?

Deidara: Well, you have to have a certain length of hair and the right tools. It also helps to have a _lot _of hair gel. And I bother because it's probably the only thing stopping _everyone _from thinking I'm a girl!!

Mayuki: I see! On that subject, why _do _people, think you're female? We can't clear it up, so we hoping _you _can!

Deidara: The best thing I could come up with is that those people are ignorant morons who make assumptions too easily...un.

Akane: Yeah, I know lots of people like that. _Trust me_...anyway, are people getting the wrong idea from you and Sasori's relationship, or are they on the right track?

Deidara: ...Un...I'd rather not say...

Mayuki: Have you _seen _some of the fan art?

Deidara: Oh, yes! When Itachi saw pictures of Uchiha-cest, he was submissive for a month!

Akane: (Frowns) Poor Itachi-sama! So...when you lost your arms, you were more worried about finding your ring. Why?

Deidara: We actually have a pretty state-of-the-art security system installed at the headquarters. It will only let you in if it recognizes your ring design. More importantly, I wouldn't be able to get my morning coffee!

Mayuki: Very cool! Well, we're up to our last question. Who would most like explode right now?

Akane: That's still 'available'.

Deidara: hm...Naruto?

Mayuki: Oh, no! We would get mobbed if we even _tried_ that.

Deidara: Yeah...

Mayuki: C'mon! You can do it!!

Deidara: Well...there _was _this guy I saw on a show...

Akane: (moves forward in chair) yes?!...

Deidara: It was called Death Note or something, and the main character was just _such _a moron!

Mayuki: You mean Yagami Light?

Deidara: Yeah, that's him! Un...

Akane: Perfect, finally there's someone who agrees with us! (The three prepare to leave) Well, we're off! Remember viewers, life's a roller coaster. Only _you_ can throw off the pricks who try to take it off the tracks!

**Stay tuned for...Sasori No Danna...well, not **_**our **_**Danna. But...never mind...**

I made up that advice myself! I'm so proud! I'll get the next one up sooner, I swear!!


End file.
